There was drama when we entered the car. There was drama when we went to counseling. There was drama with the people caring for him. After years of fighting for what my husband needed, fighting the red tape, fighting the VA and fighting with each other, I was constantly stressed out. I noticed that if there was a day without any major upsets, one of us would start something.
War constantly consumed our lives. War had ripped everything away that was normal and happy. I reeked of negativity and saw everything as catastrophic. It didn’t help that none of my old friends knew what I was going through and even some of my own family couldn’t help me. All I did was complain about what Bryan did that day or what the VA got wrong. If I saw someone post something minor in comparison to what I was dealing with, I felt on edge and annoyed. Their life wasn’t that bad.
In the wounded warrior community I see others that are still stuck in that state of negativity and repeating reel of drama. It is an exhausting way to live. I remember once things started slowing down, and Bryan and I were at peace with our lives, I thought, ‘Now what am I going to talk about’?
Although I may not have as much to talk about, I feel much happier and more at peace than I did in that shaky environment. It feels good to not feed off of others’ drama and engage in things that simply don’t matter.
12 comments:
Amen.
There was about a three-year period that I got stuck in that constant cycle of drama and frustration. I call it my 'three-year angry period' - once I got out of that cycle, life panned out so much better for us. Now we have some semblance of normalcy and peace of mind. You bring up a very good point...we all have to get out of that cycle at some point or another or it will just consume you.
Amen.
There was about a three-year period that I got stuck in that constant cycle of drama and frustration. I call it my 'three-year angry period' - once I got out of that cycle, life panned out so much better for us. Now we have some semblance of normalcy and peace of mind to go with it. You bring up a very good point... we all have to get out of that cycle at some point or another or it will just consume you.
Ok, but how do you get out of that place?
I believe some individuals live for drama and without it they have little to focus on or live for.
There are way to many people embellishing stories and it's a constant stream of victims of, well you name it and I have read the excuse.
8 years into this we too are past the drama. I just can't deal with the victim mentality any longer.
I am so glad I have surrounded myself with strong friends who want to carry on in life. As always well said my friend.
This blog is beautiful! Thank you for sharing your journey! Iv just began ours so im looking into everything I can to prepare for this.
Save The Drama for Mama Llama! :) Love you girl, and I am so proud to call you a friend!
Looking forward to that day! We are STILL fighting the VA, have been since Aug. 2007 when husbnad was medically seperated from the Army with PTSD and TBI. Just recently won retirement with the Sabo class action. A definite blessing once the kinks get worked out. The system seems to force drama on us. Nothing is straight forward. Nothing is simple. Nothing is common sense.
I am happy for your new found peace. Wish peace for many many more in similar situations. And hoping to join you very very soon!
I can so relate to this...I remember a clear day when I finally got sick and tired of being angry and burdened all the time. I had to examine my own role in the drama -- for so long, I loved to blame my veteran husband. But my own reactions were igniting the drama equally or more. When I stopped responding with anger and resentment oozing from every word and action, life got TREMENDOUSLY better. :) Great blog by the way!
Excellent post...once you get out of the drama cycle you feel so much better. I just started my own blog
www.woundedwifelife.blogspot.com
Please feel free to read or share. Thank you so much
Amy
Its nice to know we aren't the only ones trying to refigure our marriage due to PTSD/TBI. Although, there are days I wish he would yell at me or at least show some emotion but there's nothing. Hopefully the MEB will be done (only taken 3 yrs) and I can get my husband what he deserves from the VA. GOOD LUCK TO ALL THE FAMILIES & GOD BLESS.... <3
I truly appreciate everyone who went through tough times, and managed to survive. Were going through this right now, and every avenue I seek, seems to end with closed doors no matter who I talk to. Things are getting worse by the minute. I too look forward to the day I can post happiness as well.
This is good news indeed. Keep it up
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