Half Marathon and Funeral

Friday after work I headed to Nashville for the Country Music Half Marathon. I have been training since January and other caregivers were doing it as well. As we were heading to get our race numbers Karie called me and I did my best to help her out in this horrible situation she was in over the expenses of the funeral. Honestly I am shocked that the VA only pays $3,000.00 dollars towards funeral expenses. Basically all 3K covers is an unmarked grave. It made my stomach wretch to think about the expenses she could incur when this is said and done.

After we got our packets my friend and I checked into our hotel. We headed out to the Melting Pot for dinner and practically had to be rolled out due to the amount of food consumed. Saturday morning we were up by 5:30 AM for the race. There were tornado warnings and heavy wind and rain was due to hit around 8:00. At mile 11 the policemen told us to evacuate. There was no way in hell I was quitting at 2 miles out. We toughed it out in the pouring rain and finished it. I mainly walked the race and ran some. My lungs were hurting due to the bronchitis and URI I had a week before. We dare not complained because we were able bodied and our husbands were not.

Sunday morning I got up had a quick brunch with my Dad and sister and started the drive to Alabama. I got in around 6:00 P.M. and had a cookout with all of Karie and Cleve's friend. I will tell you first hand that Karie handled everything like the strong woman that I always knew she was. We headed out to a bar after the cookout and hit the beach afterwards. Karie let a little bit of the sadness flow out and she had an amazing group of friends standing by to hold her as she let the tears flow. I am glad she let a little bit of the grieving process start, you can't be strong forever.

Monday morning was a day that we all dreaded. Most of us didn't get any sleep. Karie looked beautiful in her green chucks that she wore for Cleve. She was standing tall and strong like she always does. Her friend and I took care of some logistical stuff that needed to happen in the morning and gave Karie some time to be alone with Cleve. When we arrived she was still being so strong. The funeral was heartbreaking. I felt at a loss on what to say and most of the time I felt I wasn't helping at all. I never met Cleve but felt as if knew him. I knew Karie was hurting and in turn it made my heart hurt. It makes me angry when he has been through so much and then this happens, this is how it ends. Sometimes it is really hard not to question God when things like this happen. I prayed all day for her and I knew Cleve and God were watching over her.

After two deployments that Bryan has been through and being a Military Girlfriend/Wife for 7 years I have narrowly Taps. When I heard it a chill shot up my arm and to see that flag being folded and handed over my heart felt as if it were ripped out for my friend. Seeing her holding it so close to her made me want to scream "This isn't fair!" It is over now and he was honored by family, friends, and the Military. Now the grieving process begins and I hope that in all of this some peace comes to Karie and Cleve's family. RIP CPL Jimmy Kinsey.

Shattered

Throughout the past 3 years I met a good friend named Karie. She is the wife of a wounded Marine. We developed a very close relationship as our husbands were going through recovery. We shared our darkest secrets, we never abandoned one another no matter how bad it got, she was always there for me and understood exactly what I was going through. She was the go to friend when things were rough because she has been there done that. We finally met for the first time at the caregivers retreat last May in Nashville. My husband was off on one of his tagents last fourth of July and I escaped to Karie's house for the weekend. We had so much fun together and laughed until we cried.

It felt like we had been friends for most of our lives. Lately our lives have been busy and have taken slightly different paths. Yesterday morning I woke up and read a text from her that her husband died. I gasped for air and Bryan started asking what was wrong. I started crying hysterically when I told him Karie's husband had passed. I got out of bed and stood in the shower crying. I cried because she is my sister. I cried because I felt some of her pain. I cried because we have lost another hero.

Karie called me while I was driving to work and we cried together. I can't imagine the pain she is going through. I want to take her pain away. I want to fix her I want to be there to tell her she will make it through this loss too. But I can't. I will not go into the details of his death. In due time I am sure Karie will share it on her blog. I will be going to the funeral. I don't care what hoops I may have to jump to get there but I am going. I love you Karie. You are my sister and a true friend.

Savel Abel Interview

I got the opportunity to interview the lead singer Jared Weeks from the amazing band Saving Abel. Listed below were my questions and his answers. Also keep an eye out shortly after their next c.d. comes out as I will be giving some away.

You have a new album coming out June 8th, 2010. Where did you draw inspiration from for the new album? “Most of the inspiration for our new album, Miss America, came from most of our life experiences, but on the road we always try to write about things people go through everyday. How else can you reach them?”

How has your life changed since coming out with your first album?
“Life has change a lot since the last album. For example, I don’t know what a “day off” is anymore…Ha! We feel very blessed for all the places we’ve gotten to experience and all of the great people we’ve got to meet.”

Your song 18 days depicts how hard it is to be away while serving your country, what motivated this song?
“The motivation for “18 Days” is simple. The love of family and friends, and a life or place we call home is simply made possible by the men and women serving this country. Having been across seas and seeing how strong these men and women are is a certain reminder of how much appreciation and respect they deserve.”

Any weird encounters with fans that you have met while on tour?
“No…nothing really stands out” It was great all around”

You guys did a USO tour in Kuwait and Iraq on March 4th, how did it feel to entertain our troops?
“It was such a great experience going to Iraq, Kuwait and Qatar to play for our troops. It was such a morale builder for the band. It definitely raised our spirits. These soldiers deserve Rock n’ Roll more than anyone.”


Did you ever have a moment where you were scared for your own safety while in Kuwait?
“I never really felt scared while we were in the middle east. We had so much security from the USO. It was a comfortable experience. Although wearing the bullet proof vest and helmet did make me wonder about certain situations. I was quickly comforted with all the rifles that were around us, but more importantly on our side. Ha! Ha!”


What spurred the USO concert in Kuwait and Iraq?
“We have always been a military supportive band. We actually wanted to be part of the experience instead of just talking about it and thanking the troops every night at the shows. So we were given the opportunity to go and personally thank the troops ourselves. It was an honor and a privilege to go and be a part of something BIG.”

Did you have any moments while meeting with the troops that particularly stand out?
“One particular moment that sticks out most to me, was when we met the 198th Calvary “Southern Steel” at Camp Spieker. Most every troop there was from Mississippi! Some were even from our hometown in Corinth, MS. Just goes to show how small a world it really is.”

Do any of you have relatives or friends in the service?
“I have 5 uncles and 3 of the 5 were in the Army. I have two brother-in-laws….one a Marine serving in Afganistan, and one is in the Army Reserve. I also have friends who have died serving and they will never be forgotten”

You will be attending the milblogging conference on April 9 and 10th are there any particular milblogs that you follow?
“I’m not so much on blogs these days only because I don’t have much time, but I am definitely trying to get into this whole Blogging/Twitter thing”

My husband was severely injured in while serving his second tour in Iraq. Have you guys ever visited any of the wounded warriors at Walter Reed Army Medical Center?
“We have visited Walter Reed a couple of times and its always an honor to give back to those who are injured from serving our country.”

Supporting Our Veterans

Lately I have been questioning Americans support of veterans. Our great friend from Walter Reed was featured in an article in the NY Times. I was so proud to read the article as we have always admired his strength and courage. I started to read the comments after the article and was completely disgusted and angry by most of the comments. I won't even repeat what was said but it was similar to the way Vietnam Vets were talked about. We have talked with so many Vietnam Vets and heard the horrid stories of how they were treated and I thought we were past that kind of treatment. With that being said I stated to get a taste of disgust in my mouth. I will repeat what the Wounded Warrior Project has said time and time again "It's not about the War it's about the Warrior."

However, today my faith was renewed in our Americans. I have had 3 sinus infections, bronchitis, and an upper respiratory infection since December. I have dealt with this all my life and I was headed to the Allergist once again. I was poked with 130 toothpicks with serum on my back and injected with 15 needles in my arm. I am allergic to Trees, Pollen, Mold, and Dust mites. The shellfish that showed up as a moderate allergy at my Endocrinologist didn't show up today. He told me to stay away from it since it did show up on my blood test. I was hoping to continue to eat it. I am also not allergic to my dog, which makes me very happy. As the Doctor and I were wrapping up our discussion of allergy shots and bee shots he asked if my husband was in the military. I replied that he was retired. He looked a bit confused since we are younger. I said he is medically retired. He asked what happened and I told him he was blown up in Iraq. He asked what his injuries were and I rattled them all out.

He stated that a colleague of his has a son that has a TBI and told me of his struggles. I asked the doctor to share my information with him as we would love to know other people in our situation and share some information. He then asked if we had family around and I told him they live in Nashville and around St. Louis. He asked if we had considered moving around family so we could have some more support and I said we had. Then he moved on to asking what I do. I replied I was a nanny and I am taking a break from Social Work. He wanted to know then how much my co-pay was and I told him $12.00. He said that he would cover it. I will be coming to get shots twice a week for 3 to 5 years and possibly forever depending on how severe the bee allergy is. He said he wanted to take care of it after all we have been through.

As I was checking out at the front desk the Doctor told the receptionist that he was covering my co pays. He said because of my husband's great sacrifice to this country. At this point it was everything I could do to keep my composure. They asked if he was in the military. I said yes he was but he was injured in Iraq and the tears started to flow. I said I don't know why I am crying it's been almost 4 years. They refunded my co-pay and handed me some tissues. They started crying with me.

I got in my car after thanking them profusely and cried my eyes out. I am so thankful that people recognize our veterans. I am so thankful to be married to someone who has made such a sacrifice for our country. I have renewed faith that everything is going to be OK and we are supported. Thank you Doctor!

Pressure

My husband cracks under pressure. I am the one to order the food at the restaurant, pay the bill, drive us where we need to go. Sometimes it gets really old. Friday night we were eating at a Mexican restaurant. We both looked at our menus, closed them, and Bryan said "want to get the the same thing we always do?" I said "yes." When the server came around to take our order I had just stuffed some chips and queso in my mouth so I motioned for him to order. We always share chicken fajitas. The server asked what we wanted and he just stared at me. I am waiting for him to order, he stares some more. Finally with this confused look at his face he says "enchiladas?" I shook my head. He has never eaten enchiladas. I said chicken fajitas with a touch of frustration.

We went to look at plants on Saturday for the yard. I had him call the guy to get directions and see what time we could go. He didn't know what to ask when he called and started to stutter. I said ask if we can come by today and get directions. Finally 10 minutes later he got half of the directions and couldn't remember the rest. When we arrived Bryan let me talk to the guy and tell him what we were looking for. Two hours later it was time to pick out what we wanted and Bryan couldn't make a decision. I needed to go to the restroom and he was just sitting there and had no idea what he wanted to get. I finally made the decision and we got out of there. I can make quick decisions and he can not. We have been talking about the plants we wanted to buy for almost 3 years and when it comes time to get them he had no idea what he wanted.

I sometimes want Bryan to take charge. I don't want to settle the bill, drive ourselves to a date, make all the decisions. We were a little snippy at each other yesterday but by the end of the day we had a tickle fest and ended it on a good note. I guess I just need to be OK with making all the decisions.

Life at the moment

I almost don't even want to say it but things have been amazing lately. I don't want to jinx it as my husband would say. I am not supersitious but maybe I should be?

Bryan has been amazing, I think this medication combination after almost 4 years is correct. I think the Hyperbaric treatment really worked and we are patiently waiting for the final results so he can continue treatments here. I haven't seen him have a temper tantrum since the laundry incident.

Bryan has been sleeping in our bed too, his legs have doing a little better as well. I think the warmer weather has an effect on his legs and mood as well. He has been taking the dog for a walk or going with me to walk her. He has worked late a few times which is hasn't done in over a year. Recently he was walking out of the door at exactly 6:30 but it's past 7 now and he hasn't left work yet.

I feel much more relaxed and less stressed. The next two months are insane with family events, special trips, and people visiting. We are excited and looking forward to the summer. I don't have any drama to report and he did get his orthodics done we are waiting on them to come in the mail. He got his huge box of tubes for his shrapnel test so next time he goes to the clinic he will turn them in.

Life is so good. I am so thankful to God and all the support.