My husband was an amazing runner before he got hurt. He could run two miles in 10 minutes. I can’t and don’t run. He will never be able to run again. All he wanted when he got out of the Army was to get a dog and go running with it. We got the dog the day after he retired but he can’t run with her. When he tries it’s a form of a wobble and hobble jaunt. That is a reminder.
A couple of weekends ago Bryan was trying to put down some tile in the kitchen. It was a small project but he was finding excuses for months not to do it. He knew he would get frustrated. He knew it wouldn’t be as easy as it once was. He knew it would go wrong. What happened? The thin set wasn’t going down properly. He got angry and frustrated. After a slew of about 50 curse words he slung the trowel on the floor. Thin set pasted itself to the fridge, the floor and the cabinets. That made him angrier. I could feel my heart beating rapidly. I could feel my cheeks getting hot. The dogs ran and hid. I went to the basement because listening to him was upsetting me. That too was a reminder.
I wish that at some point the reminders will go away. I love where we are at in our life but sometimes it isn’t easy to overlook what he goes through. I think we have just finally accepted this is how it is. I think it is OK to have reminders. Reminders might bring up the pain but they also remind you of where you have been, that you are alive and that you thrive.