We went to look at plants on Saturday for the yard. I had him call the guy to get directions and see what time we could go. He didn't know what to ask when he called and started to stutter. I said ask if we can come by today and get directions. Finally 10 minutes later he got half of the directions and couldn't remember the rest. When we arrived Bryan let me talk to the guy and tell him what we were looking for. Two hours later it was time to pick out what we wanted and Bryan couldn't make a decision. I needed to go to the restroom and he was just sitting there and had no idea what he wanted to get. I finally made the decision and we got out of there. I can make quick decisions and he can not. We have been talking about the plants we wanted to buy for almost 3 years and when it comes time to get them he had no idea what he wanted.
I sometimes want Bryan to take charge. I don't want to settle the bill, drive ourselves to a date, make all the decisions. We were a little snippy at each other yesterday but by the end of the day we had a tickle fest and ended it on a good note. I guess I just need to be OK with making all the decisions.
8 comments:
The title of your blog today Pressure, and while you talked about how your guy deals (or doesn't) with pressure, it sounds like you feel pressure as a result.
Don't get me wrong. It didn't sound like a complaint so much as a comment of how things are, and how things have changed, and what you miss of your life previous to now.
I hope it helps to know that there are random people (me in Vancouver, Canada, for example) who think you are handling your lot with grace and style.
Cheers and kudos to you both.
There are so many people who feel unimportant or neglected because they never get to make the final choice. Count yourself among the blessed.
I am very blessed! Just rolling with the TBI and all it's changes.
Oh Lordy I've been there and done that, and then done that some more!!
I handle ev_ery_thing... he just signs next to the "x" when necessary. Working, cooking, cleaning, finances, kids, yard work, home repairs, you name it.. I do it and he does not.
But you know what? I wouldn't trade him for anything, he's my bubba, and I love every fiber of his being :)
(Yeah but it's bloody hard sometimes)
wow you practically took the words out of my head! I'm still getting used to PTSD in our lives (it's been about 8 months now) but him not taking charge anymore.. ever, is something I'm still NOT used to.
You did help me realize that complaining about something he can't control is pointless though. Being more laid back about the whole situation is something I've actively been working on!
thank you!
Wow. I thought I was the only one that had to do these sorts of things. Not exactly to the extent that you have stated in this blog entry, but, I too have to do alot of the things that a husband "normally" does. We've been redoing the landscaping in the front of our house and my husband rejects just about everything that I say I want to put in the ground. He says that he "has an idea in his head." I tell him that it doesn't do any good in there, and I can't plan with something that I can't see. So far we've only agreed on putting 3 Lilac trees out . There's a whole lot more that needs to go in! LOL
Hi, im Kristle, I stumbled upon your blog on the operation Homefront site....all I can say is wow, you took those wors right out of my mouth! My husband also suffers from a TBI, and PTSD, and COPD, and the list goes on, but he too, cracks under pressure, and can not take charge. If it were up to him, he, myself and our two kids would sit on the couch the rest of our lives because he cant plan a trip to the park, much less a road trip. I wish sometimes that it wasnt that way, but im learning to adapt, and be excited about the fact that I get to plan every trip for the rest of our lives. LOL :) My prayers are with you sweetie!
find me at forgetthedognotthebaby.blogspot.com
Wow. . . I just found your blog today and am so grateful that you are opening your heart up to everyone who reads your blog. This post especially touched my heart, as so many civilians (myself included) have NO clue what wounded soldiers and their families experience in daily life. God bless both of you!
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