This week has been busy for us. We both had doctors appointments and tests, etc. I had a lovely reaction to anesthesia on Wednesday but am feeling much better now and we are getting PT started for Bryan on Monday. The VA was very accommodating in working with the PT he wanted to use by work and using the Fee Basing to cover the rehabilitation. My program is finally starting at work and I am so excited to grow this service to those that need it.
We are ready for a nice relaxing weekend. I got the letter yesterday that Bryan was approved for CRSC at 100% so that is good news and something to wipe off my plate. I am very appreciative of the Quality of Life Foundation for hooking us up with the Federal Recovery Coordinator Program as they have helped a lot in these recent appeals and processes. I have also enjoyed talking with the Quality of Life Foundation about what they are doing for wounded warriors care and they have started an online database of resources. They have done some amazing work!
I feel that I need to make a few disclaimers about my blog. This was brought about my someone trying to compare their injuries to my husbands and what he feels about them. I first want to state that these are my thoughts about what is going on in our lives and I own them and trying to explain accurately what is going on in our lives. At times I left a few rough things out that has happened to us through this process. I feel that some of it should not be re-lived or repeated and I do this to protect both of us. Dealing with what Bryan goes through can sometimes be emotionally damaging and while I don't sugar coat it I also try to save face in a sense. I feel that everyone is entitled to their opinion but one should never ever try to say they know what they feel my husband or myself go through. One should never try to say nor compare their injuries as we are all going through this and it isn't easy and a lonely process. Those that have walked in our shoes in a similar fashion should therefore understand the struggles and barriers. We should uplift one another and encourage. This is real and very pain wrenching sometimes.
With all of this being said we are both resilient and I am thankful for that. There will always be someone who tries to bring you down with their anger and hostility. It is inescapable as this is the way humanity sometimes will act. I feel that my husband and I have tried to move on from our situation and have gotten ourselves into a new normal that we like. My husband chooses to work and forgo his Social Security Disability benefit because he wants to get back into the civilian world. I am very proud of him. It has not and is not easy for him to go to work everyday. He is in pain every morning and it takes multiple attempts for him to get out of bed. But he does it and I am so proud of him. I know at times he gets frustrated because he is not as quick and can't remember things like his co workers but he adapts as do they.
With that being said I am thankful for this outlet to say what I need or want to say. I am thankful for CinChouse for contacting me to feature my blog and also supporting me in this healing. I am thankful for the other wounded warrior wives out there that have supported me in my worst days and can understand. I am so thankful for my friends who haven't been through this but have listened to all that goes on with open and nonjudgmental ears. Even when my friends have not walked in my exact shoes they too have been through life altering experiences. This is a healing process and I will not let anyone try to alter the journey.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
New Screw
Bryan went to his orthopedic surgeon yesterday. Luckily the knee is not ruined but his surgeon was very upset that he hadn't started PT. He explained the situation with the VA and how it took this long to get an appointment so he just made it on his own with Tricare. He stated that they wanted him to see a surgeron before he started PT and he needed to wait 2 months after surgery to begin. The surgeon was not happy with this and wrote a script for PT. I am tempted to not use the VA to pay for PT and just use Tricare and pay the co-pays to get it started. It takes an act of Congress to get an appointment with them not to mention getting a local Physical Therapy center to use VAs outsouring of services. I called the VA today if it isn't set up by the end of the week we will just see if we can use Tricare. I want him to get better and back being somewhat active.
Here is a picture of his new screw and the large lumps you see are shrapnel.
We also had our first counseling appointment at the Vet Center and I was very pleased. I like the counselor and he asked all the right questions. He asked about Bryan's eating habits, sleeping habits, motivation, sex drive, he even asked if he sweats at night which always always concerned me, etc. I felt that is he is going to get to the core of everything. I love the whole healthy body healthy mind concept so I feel he is talking the whole body and mind into consideration. He also is an artist and thinks of other ways to deal with stress and anger! Also he had War and the Soul book in his office. I can't wait to go back!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
War and the Soul, Volunteering
I have started reading War and the Soul by Edward Tick, PH.D. and it is very interesting. I am always looking for ways to understand PTSD and all that it entails. If anyone has a spouse who is battling PTSD I suggest you read this book.
Also something I have forgotten to mention is that I started volunteering with Therapeutic Riding Acedemy of Knoxville. Here people with disabilites ride horses as a means of healing and therapy. I love it! I have been volunterring with them for a month now. I go early sometimes and help prepare the horses for the children's lesson. It is amazing to see the children ride these horses and how it has helped with all aspects of their lives. I think it has also been therapeutic for me as well.
We had 5 horses growing up and the smell and gentleness of the horses is calming to my soul. I love just being around them as they seem to understand things that people sometimes can't. I also love seeing the children's face light up while they are riding. The kids have really come a long way using this kind of therapy. I hope to continue volunteering with them for a long time.
Also something I have forgotten to mention is that I started volunteering with Therapeutic Riding Acedemy of Knoxville. Here people with disabilites ride horses as a means of healing and therapy. I love it! I have been volunterring with them for a month now. I go early sometimes and help prepare the horses for the children's lesson. It is amazing to see the children ride these horses and how it has helped with all aspects of their lives. I think it has also been therapeutic for me as well.
We had 5 horses growing up and the smell and gentleness of the horses is calming to my soul. I love just being around them as they seem to understand things that people sometimes can't. I also love seeing the children's face light up while they are riding. The kids have really come a long way using this kind of therapy. I hope to continue volunteering with them for a long time.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Skiing in NY
It has been a crazy past week with everything going on in our household. Last Tuesday I noticed that our dog Trixie had been chewing on her tail so I needed to take her to the vet before we left for our ski trip to NY. My poor dog had to get on antibiotics due to some issues that I will spare you of. I was afraid if we didn't get it taken care of before we left we wouldn't be able to board her. I am so glad I didn't wait any longer or it could have been a lot worse for her.
Thursday was my first day off the steroids and let me tell you it was hell. I had no idea I would feel hungover and dehydrated. I did a little research and apparently you should ween down off of the steroids. I wasn't told this by the ER doctor so I was hoping by Friday I would feel better. Friday morning on my way to work it was pouring down rain and I just knew our flight would be delayed. We didn't end up having a delay coming out of Knoxville but I still wasn't feeling well. We were getting close to Dulles International Airport when the pilot came on and stated that Dulles had shut down due to weather and we needed to fly in a holding pattern until we were clear to land. The pilot also stated that we only had enough gas to fly for 30 more minutes so we might be re-rerouted to another airport. Great! Dulles opened back up in time for us to not run out of gas and land safely.
As the plane was landing I looked at Bryan and told him I was going to be sick. I wasn't able to get out of my seat due to landing so I started frantically looking for air sickness bags. Apparently air planes don't provide these anymore. I had only gotten sick one other time after my surgery and dry heaving was about all that happened so I was hoping for that as well. I was lucky and at the time thankful for my fundoplacation or it would have been a disaster.
I was so happy to be off that airplane and headed straight to the bathroom. I went into the airport shop and searched for anti-nausea medication only to find none. I then searched for regular peppermints but could only find the fancy multi-flavored ones. We headed to our next gate to find our plane had been delayed since the airport had shut down. I wasn't too opposed to hanging out until I got to feel better. Bryan grabbed some pizza and I headed to another shop in search of mints. I found some mentos and ate the entire sleeve. We were never told when our plane was due to take off again so we watched the monitor and they pushed back our departure time every ten minutes. An hour later we boarded and pulled onto the tarmac. They parked the plane and the pilot came over the system and stated that since Dulles had closed now all the planes were trying to depart. We had a projected wait time on the plane of 1 hour 10 minutes. Ugh!
We sat on the hot plane for an hour waiting for our turn to go. The pilot returned on the loud speaker to announce that it would be another hour before take off. We had some screaming kids behind complaining that they wanted snacks, juice, and to get up. We finally got into to Albany and met some friends from last year and headed to our ride that Adaptive Adventures arranged for us. We got into our hotel where they provided some Panera bread sandwiches and we ate and headed to bed.
The next morning I was feeling much better. I was so happy; the weather was perfect and I was ready to ski. We met our sweet volunteers Ken and Linda when we arrived. Another friend from the caregivers retreat was also there with her husband and son. It was nice to see her again. We were first up to ski and Bryan got up only after a couple of tries. He did awesome! The photographer was on the boat with us and got some amazing shots of Bryan skiing. Bryan needed a rest so it was my turn to ski. I noticed the ski was very lightweight and kind of short but they said go ahead and try it. I could not get up on it so we headed back to the dock to get a better ski. I got up after the third try and felt great once up. There is nothing more exhilarating to me than skiing. The photographer said he got a couple good shots of me as well.
Compliments of Iannelli Photography
I did have a couple good crashes and knew the next day I would be paying for it. Bryan's knee started hurting so he took some advil and took a hydro. It had been about a month since he took one and he couldn't really remember from last time which one made him feel sick. He started acting very weird during lunch and couldn't sit still. We decided to take this little cruise on a pontoon around the lake and he was itching and irritable. When we got done he said he would like to just hang out under the pavilion until it was time to leave for the day. I asked if he wanted me to stay with him and he said no. I ended up going kayaking with some of the volunteers. When I returned a lady told me that she took Bryan back to the hotel as he wasn't feeling well. I called him and asked if he was ok and he said yes he was going to take a shower and take a nap. I told him I had some benadryl in my bag and to take some.
When I got back he said he will feeling a little better and could go to the baseball game. He was acting very nervous there as well and would wander off and come back with food. He ended up eating a hot dog, fries, nachos, pretzel, dipping dots, m & m's, and two cokes. It was crazy how much he was eating. We asked our friends Ken and Linda to take us back to the hotel. When walking out to the car Bryan was stumbling around and had no depth perception. I guess basically he was high off the medication.
Sunday I was so sore that there was no way I could get up on one ski. I tried and crashed and burned hard. My feet went up over my back and it hurt so bad that I could hardly try again. I did and got up on two. I decided to drop one and smacked my foot on the water. It hurt really bad so I decided just to ski on two and take it easy. After lunch it started raining and most everyone went back to the hotel. We decided to stay and have another go round on the skis. Bryan tried a sky ski which is like a wake board that you strap your feet into and sit on a bar stool. It has a hydro foil on the bottom and if you can get up on it the ski will launch in the air and you can get some major air. Here is the link so you can get a better idea of what it is. He got up on it after 4 tries for about 10 seconds. The instructors were impressed and the ski is sensitive and very hard to get up on. He tried and tried and tried some more. He then went back to the mono ski and we stayed out on the boat so long they were calling us in and asking when we were going to stop. It was great to see Bryan try so hard and do so well at it.
Monday morning I woke up with a sore throat and was miserable. I didn't sleep all night due to the burning in my throat. I knew it would make for a fun trip home. I decided to stay home Tuesday as I was still sick and Bryan went on to work. he said his ear hurt a little and I assumed it was from the water that got in them. Wednesday he started a regime of alcohol and vinegar to try and clear it up. It wasn't working. On Thursday I came home from work to find that Bryan was home. I asked what was wrong and he said his ears hurt and he was vomiting at work. I knew this wasn't good. I asked if he knew if the VA clinic in town took in walk in appointments so he could go in today. He said he didn't know. I asked if he wanted to go to the ER and he said no. I talked to my friend and she stated that our doctors office has an after hours clinic. My PCM is also Bryan's but he has never been set up as a new patient. I assumed they wouldn't take him but I called anyways. They said they could get him in at 8:45 and we headed out the door.
When we got back into the room the nurse asked what medications he had taken in the last 30 days. He mentioned only his anti-inflammatory. I said and welburtin he said no I haven't taken it in the past 30 days. What? When did he get off both anti-depressants? I started thinking back about how he had been behaving the past 30 days and being off the meds was explaining a lot. Unreal I can't believe he would come off both.
The nurse practitioner came in and asked about the meds again. He did mention that he had taken his pain pill. She asked what for and he said knee and ankles. She said ok and then asked again why he was taking those meds. He said for my knee and ankles. She said and what is wrong with your knee and ankles? Bryan put right out there and said because I was blown up. The nurses head literally flew back like she had been smacked in the face. She said what?! He said I was blown up in Iraq and I have leg injuries. She said ok well is it helping with the pain in your ears and he said no. She looked in the left and said wow this ear is definitely infected. She looked in the right and exclaimed wow again. She stated that she was shocked by how eaten up his ears were with infection. Bryan said he had been skiing all weekend and she said if he wasn't better by Monday to come back. She said he needed to be careful because MRSA is going around and can come from the lake. I then informed her that he already had it and she asked when. I stated when he was in the hospital 3 years ago. She said it was good to know and would prescribe something stronger due to this info and he needed to tell all the doctors that he had that.
We got the antibiotics and headed home. It was a late night and made getting up this morning even harder. We have been through our fair share of doctors and mishaps the past couple of weeks. My back is still sore and I have a bruise on my arch. I think I am getting too old for skiing! If I did it on a more regular basis I wouldn't be as sore. I am hoping that this weekend is low key and relaxing.
Thanks so much to Adaptive Adventures and Wounded Warrior Project for teaching my husband how to adaptive ski and getting him interested in the sport. It really does let us get a piece of our life back!
Thursday was my first day off the steroids and let me tell you it was hell. I had no idea I would feel hungover and dehydrated. I did a little research and apparently you should ween down off of the steroids. I wasn't told this by the ER doctor so I was hoping by Friday I would feel better. Friday morning on my way to work it was pouring down rain and I just knew our flight would be delayed. We didn't end up having a delay coming out of Knoxville but I still wasn't feeling well. We were getting close to Dulles International Airport when the pilot came on and stated that Dulles had shut down due to weather and we needed to fly in a holding pattern until we were clear to land. The pilot also stated that we only had enough gas to fly for 30 more minutes so we might be re-rerouted to another airport. Great! Dulles opened back up in time for us to not run out of gas and land safely.
As the plane was landing I looked at Bryan and told him I was going to be sick. I wasn't able to get out of my seat due to landing so I started frantically looking for air sickness bags. Apparently air planes don't provide these anymore. I had only gotten sick one other time after my surgery and dry heaving was about all that happened so I was hoping for that as well. I was lucky and at the time thankful for my fundoplacation or it would have been a disaster.
I was so happy to be off that airplane and headed straight to the bathroom. I went into the airport shop and searched for anti-nausea medication only to find none. I then searched for regular peppermints but could only find the fancy multi-flavored ones. We headed to our next gate to find our plane had been delayed since the airport had shut down. I wasn't too opposed to hanging out until I got to feel better. Bryan grabbed some pizza and I headed to another shop in search of mints. I found some mentos and ate the entire sleeve. We were never told when our plane was due to take off again so we watched the monitor and they pushed back our departure time every ten minutes. An hour later we boarded and pulled onto the tarmac. They parked the plane and the pilot came over the system and stated that since Dulles had closed now all the planes were trying to depart. We had a projected wait time on the plane of 1 hour 10 minutes. Ugh!
We sat on the hot plane for an hour waiting for our turn to go. The pilot returned on the loud speaker to announce that it would be another hour before take off. We had some screaming kids behind complaining that they wanted snacks, juice, and to get up. We finally got into to Albany and met some friends from last year and headed to our ride that Adaptive Adventures arranged for us. We got into our hotel where they provided some Panera bread sandwiches and we ate and headed to bed.
The next morning I was feeling much better. I was so happy; the weather was perfect and I was ready to ski. We met our sweet volunteers Ken and Linda when we arrived. Another friend from the caregivers retreat was also there with her husband and son. It was nice to see her again. We were first up to ski and Bryan got up only after a couple of tries. He did awesome! The photographer was on the boat with us and got some amazing shots of Bryan skiing. Bryan needed a rest so it was my turn to ski. I noticed the ski was very lightweight and kind of short but they said go ahead and try it. I could not get up on it so we headed back to the dock to get a better ski. I got up after the third try and felt great once up. There is nothing more exhilarating to me than skiing. The photographer said he got a couple good shots of me as well.
Compliments of Iannelli Photography
I did have a couple good crashes and knew the next day I would be paying for it. Bryan's knee started hurting so he took some advil and took a hydro. It had been about a month since he took one and he couldn't really remember from last time which one made him feel sick. He started acting very weird during lunch and couldn't sit still. We decided to take this little cruise on a pontoon around the lake and he was itching and irritable. When we got done he said he would like to just hang out under the pavilion until it was time to leave for the day. I asked if he wanted me to stay with him and he said no. I ended up going kayaking with some of the volunteers. When I returned a lady told me that she took Bryan back to the hotel as he wasn't feeling well. I called him and asked if he was ok and he said yes he was going to take a shower and take a nap. I told him I had some benadryl in my bag and to take some.
When I got back he said he will feeling a little better and could go to the baseball game. He was acting very nervous there as well and would wander off and come back with food. He ended up eating a hot dog, fries, nachos, pretzel, dipping dots, m & m's, and two cokes. It was crazy how much he was eating. We asked our friends Ken and Linda to take us back to the hotel. When walking out to the car Bryan was stumbling around and had no depth perception. I guess basically he was high off the medication.
Sunday I was so sore that there was no way I could get up on one ski. I tried and crashed and burned hard. My feet went up over my back and it hurt so bad that I could hardly try again. I did and got up on two. I decided to drop one and smacked my foot on the water. It hurt really bad so I decided just to ski on two and take it easy. After lunch it started raining and most everyone went back to the hotel. We decided to stay and have another go round on the skis. Bryan tried a sky ski which is like a wake board that you strap your feet into and sit on a bar stool. It has a hydro foil on the bottom and if you can get up on it the ski will launch in the air and you can get some major air. Here is the link so you can get a better idea of what it is. He got up on it after 4 tries for about 10 seconds. The instructors were impressed and the ski is sensitive and very hard to get up on. He tried and tried and tried some more. He then went back to the mono ski and we stayed out on the boat so long they were calling us in and asking when we were going to stop. It was great to see Bryan try so hard and do so well at it.
Monday morning I woke up with a sore throat and was miserable. I didn't sleep all night due to the burning in my throat. I knew it would make for a fun trip home. I decided to stay home Tuesday as I was still sick and Bryan went on to work. he said his ear hurt a little and I assumed it was from the water that got in them. Wednesday he started a regime of alcohol and vinegar to try and clear it up. It wasn't working. On Thursday I came home from work to find that Bryan was home. I asked what was wrong and he said his ears hurt and he was vomiting at work. I knew this wasn't good. I asked if he knew if the VA clinic in town took in walk in appointments so he could go in today. He said he didn't know. I asked if he wanted to go to the ER and he said no. I talked to my friend and she stated that our doctors office has an after hours clinic. My PCM is also Bryan's but he has never been set up as a new patient. I assumed they wouldn't take him but I called anyways. They said they could get him in at 8:45 and we headed out the door.
When we got back into the room the nurse asked what medications he had taken in the last 30 days. He mentioned only his anti-inflammatory. I said and welburtin he said no I haven't taken it in the past 30 days. What? When did he get off both anti-depressants? I started thinking back about how he had been behaving the past 30 days and being off the meds was explaining a lot. Unreal I can't believe he would come off both.
The nurse practitioner came in and asked about the meds again. He did mention that he had taken his pain pill. She asked what for and he said knee and ankles. She said ok and then asked again why he was taking those meds. He said for my knee and ankles. She said and what is wrong with your knee and ankles? Bryan put right out there and said because I was blown up. The nurses head literally flew back like she had been smacked in the face. She said what?! He said I was blown up in Iraq and I have leg injuries. She said ok well is it helping with the pain in your ears and he said no. She looked in the left and said wow this ear is definitely infected. She looked in the right and exclaimed wow again. She stated that she was shocked by how eaten up his ears were with infection. Bryan said he had been skiing all weekend and she said if he wasn't better by Monday to come back. She said he needed to be careful because MRSA is going around and can come from the lake. I then informed her that he already had it and she asked when. I stated when he was in the hospital 3 years ago. She said it was good to know and would prescribe something stronger due to this info and he needed to tell all the doctors that he had that.
We got the antibiotics and headed home. It was a late night and made getting up this morning even harder. We have been through our fair share of doctors and mishaps the past couple of weeks. My back is still sore and I have a bruise on my arch. I think I am getting too old for skiing! If I did it on a more regular basis I wouldn't be as sore. I am hoping that this weekend is low key and relaxing.
Thanks so much to Adaptive Adventures and Wounded Warrior Project for teaching my husband how to adaptive ski and getting him interested in the sport. It really does let us get a piece of our life back!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
