CRSC, Alive Day Party, ER

It's been a crazy past couple of weeks. I have been out of town for work and trying to get the house in order for Bryan's Alive Day party. I got a sweet bargain on some fabric and Bryan and I recovered our dining room chairs. We also made frames for our bathroom mirrors. These DIY projects have kept me busy.

Monday I had Bryan call about CRSC. A couple of months ago we called and they stated they had received Bryan's stabilization rating and they were waiting on a piece of paper to get the benefit started. This time they said they denied it because they only put in his sleep apnea as his only combat related injury. Apparently they just took the first condition off the list and didn't put the 25 other conditions in. They never sent a denial letter so how were we supposed to know? I got all 43 pages of documentation together and ran to my good friends house to fax it all over saying we disagreed with their decision. We received the letter last September saying he was eligible and it has taken this long to find out they denied him. It is always so frustrating.

Bryan is also having trouble with his knee. I called his case manager last Friday to tell her he needed PT right away here in Knoxville. She said she would flag notes to the ortho PA and his PT. I called his PT on Tuesday and told him he needed PT because he was having problems. She stated she would flag it again and call ortho. On Thursday she called and said that no one called her back and they will probably want Bryan to see his doctor and she was trying to get a clinic appointment for him. She stated that she walked a note to ortho and left it with the chief there to call her back. We never heard anything back this week. On Monday I am just going to call his docs private practice and use Tricare and Medicare for him to get an appointment there. I imagine it would be much quicker. I can't believe it has taken over a week for Bryan to hear something about an appointment. This isn't a joke and he needs to be seen asap his knee is not right.

I have been volunteering with a Therapeutic Riding Academy working with children with disabilities. It has been so much fun I think it is therapeutic for me as well. I volunteer for 4 hours a week and it is amazing to see how much it helps the children.

The Alive Day party was great we had about 15 people show up and my cousins drove in from Alabama. It really meant a lot that they came. They are so sweet and their husbands are so sweet. At about 8 last night I was on the patio talking and laughing with my friends. I stuck my foot under the table to prop it up and I got stung. I looked underneath and there was a huge nest. I came inside and got some ice and told everyone I was stung. My friends husband was here and he is a paramedic so he gave me some solution to put on it. My foot started swelling and we were kind of laughing about it and playing around. The paramedic was downstairs with the boys when my ears, wrists, eyes, and lips started itching. I started getting hives all over me. I went to the bathroom and there were bumps all over my legs and they were red. I think my friend texted her hubby to come upstairs and he looked at me and told me I was going to die. We started laughing and he asked if I had looked in the mirror. I said no. He asked me not too cause I looked bad. Then I started getting loopy and it felt like the inside of my ears were itching so deeply it was in between my brain. It was really freaky. Apparently I was calm and not taking it seriously and Bryan decided it was time to go to the ER. I hardly said bye to all my friends and left.

On the way there my throat started swelling and I couldn't swallow. I started crying cause it was scary. Bryan was taking corners like a bat out of hell. We went to UT and the place was slammed. I told the people at check in that my throat was closing up and I was having trouble breathing. They rushed me right back and I remember people in the waiting room were staring at me like I was crazy. They put me on the gurney and wheeled me into the hall as there were no rooms available. They hooked me up to an EKG and blood pressure cuff and IV. They started steroids, benadryl, and pepcid. I started blacking out and the taste of metal was in my mouth (this seems to be a theme with me and IV medication). I blacked out and then came back. I have had so many steroids in my life so it was a little scary that it hit me so hard.

They monitored me for 4 hours and the swelling and hives started to go away. My foot was swollen and now I understand why it's so hard for Bryan to walk on his swollen feet. They felt bruised and tingling. Bryan's knee was killing him and he started walking the halls to work it out. We were exhausted. We got home at 3 am and I have a whole slew of scripts. They want me on some steroids, I got two epi pens, benadryl, and tagament for the next 6 days. That was not fun! I have been stung by a wasp before but didn't react like this. Apparently there was a huge nest of yellow jackets underneath the patio table. Bryan's dad killed them and there are still a few lingering around.

My mom, my nephew, and I all slept in the bed and I am exhausted. Bryan slept on the downstairs recliner and it helps when his legs hurt. I took a long nap today after getting my meds and I am still drained from the crazy past couple of weeks. We did have a great time at the party even though it got cut short. We really appreciate everyone coming out to celebrate the progress that Bryan has made.

Pittsburgh Post Gazette

Here is the article that I was interviewed for about caregivers of wounded warriors. They used my favorite picture and most proudest day of when Bryan received his purple heart.

The other articles made me cry as always. Since it has been such a hard couple of weeks the emotions are still raw 3 years later. We are having a big Alive Day Party scheduled for next Saturday for Bryan. I think his mood has also been down because it's coming up and he is still limping around with knots in his calf and pain 3 years later. I hope it is a happy day.

Flashbacks

Last week was hell as I had mentioned before. Bryan went out this past Saturday to cut the overgrown grass. We have this huge steep bank and we have to literally hang off the lawn mower to cut it. He was cutting it and it went flying back wards. Bryan isn't really sure what happened but he went across the driveway and into some trees. He said his knee locked up and wasn't able to get to the brake. This scared me and he shouldn't be cutting the grass anyways. He came in and slammed the door. Bryan had a really weird look on his face and I asked what happened. He said he had a flashback of IEDs when he hit the tree. He said he was getting in the shower. When he got out I had no idea how he would react. I went out to the deck and Bryan got out his sketch pad and drew up some ideas that he had for expanding our deck. Bryan likes to always come up with ideas to expand this or that even when we can't do it. It's a good outlet for him and a way to be creative.

When he was done he actually wanted to share with me what he had drawn. I was excited that he even wanted to talk to me at this point. Sunday was a good day as well and I was thankful for that. Then on Tuesday I needed to head out of town for work. I had to get a rental car to drive for work and I drove my car to go and pick it up. He got furious with me cause I didn't take a spare car to leave there like he told me to do. I frankly didn't have time to switch out all my stuff that morning because I was running late and there was no real reason to change since it would just be there one night. He texted me very hateful things all the way there. I finally got him to stop when I said it was already done and wasn't going to change so he needed to stop harassing me. He finally stopped and did call me after work and managed not to chew me out. The mood swings are awful and I don't know what else to do.

Today I had my follow up for my blood work with the hematologist. My serontonin is still up so he doesn't want to go a full body scan yet so I will be going back to my GI to have some more tests ran and if they come out clean then we will do the scan. Still no answers but I know I am not going to take we don't know what is wrong with you for an answer. I got to the GI August 4th and back to the Hema on the 20th. I just want to feel better! The doc did say today however that if they can't find anything wrong they can give me an injectable medication that is used on chemo patients to make my stomach stop reacting. However there has to be a reason my levels are elevated and we need to rule out the tumor.

Anti-Depressants

I found out that Bryan has weened himself off the Zoloft but is still taking the Welbutrin. It's been an utter nightmare. I have asked some people who have come off anti-depressants how it feels and they said it's horrible. He honestly gets mad over everything, he got mad at me for try to flirt with him the other day. I am really trying to ride it out but it really has been hard. I cried to him but it just made it worse. I have been trying to take the advice of a wounded friend of ours but that isn't working either. I did find out about the Vet Center here and found that they do counseling for the veteran and their family members. I set up an appointment for August 17th so I am hoping it will come fast.

Bryan hasn't seen his counselor in a couple of weeks and doesn't have an appointment. The VA sent some paperwork today through the mail saying they needed his charts from his private psychologist. I told Bryan that they needed them within 30 days so they can continue with the rating appeal. I am hoping that this will spark him to make an appointment and talk about what he is feeling. He won't talk to me about it and I have tried everything I can to get him to. He is just very angry and I hope that he can level out soon. I am staying as far away from him as I can to give him some space. I really hope that it gets better soon as this is the worst I have seen him in the last 3 years.

Other than that not too much is going on. I got my new office at work so I have my own space without being able to hear everyone else talking at work. I think the Memphis office got their license so we should get started soon. We are having a big Alive Day party here for Bryan on the 25th and going adaptive water skiing again in NY at the end of the month. I am hoping that experience will be positive for us again.

I am hoping things smooth over very soon as I don't know what else to do or how to help him. The storms come more often than not and I am just trying to ride them out. Maybe he will be better off in the long run not being on so many anti-depressants and will be less numb and more motivated. Time will tell.

I've Escaped

This week has been a rough week. I am not sure what is going on but Bryan and I are off track more than normal. He is angry and has also had a bad headache for 3 days. I feel I can't do anything right and he is just so disconnected. They adjusted his anti-depressants and I am thinking that is what is causing the problems. It was so bad on Thursday and that I decided we need a little break. I escaped to Alabama to see Karie as she gets it and understands when you just have those very long off moments. Bryan went to see his family this weekend and we aren't talking much. That is ok though cause everyone needs a break every now and then and we know when we need one. I boarded the dog because sometimes Bryan forgets to take her out so I didn't want him to have to think about it.

Karie and I are having a great time and it is nice to see her house and meet her friends that I have heard so much about. We are on the loose so watch out Bama people.