Bryan had an 8:00 Neurology appointment and a 12:30 audiology appointment today. He had to get up at 5:00 a.m. to get ready and drive to Mountain Home. He made it there on time to find out his neurology appointment had been rescheduled for January and he was to go and finish his appointment with his compensation and pension worker. His audiology report is that he still has hearing loss in the low ranges and that the major problem with his hearing isn't that he can't hear that well. It's that his brain can't process the information fast enough so that is why he always says huh.
I hope his rating comes soon that he can start to receive his CRSC benefit.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
Dr. Phil
I watched a Dr. Phil show on Tivo from last week. It was about Veterans healthcare and how it is lacking at the VA. Here is a link to the show for those that missed it.
Beyond the Front Lines
I think the show was good and glad that some of the issues were brought to light. I hope that more veterans speak up for their care.
Beyond the Front Lines
I think the show was good and glad that some of the issues were brought to light. I hope that more veterans speak up for their care.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Body of Lies
Yesterday my friend K and I and her girls went to eat breakfast while the men were at the gun show. Afterward we went shopping and to dinner. We then decided to go and see body of lies. I had no idea that it was about Iraq and other middle eastern countries. I always worry when we go to these types of movies because there are always IEDs, RPGs, and people getting hurt. This movie definitely wasn't lacking in these things. In the beginning of the movie the main character, who worked for the CIA, was on a covert mission to get to a safe house. Of course a giant bomb goes off and his counterpart was killed. He was airlifted to a hospital and was having his buddy's bone fragments cleaned out his arm. I heard Bryan take a deep sigh and I was hoping this wasn't stressing him out too much. I held his hand and was thankful that he made it out of his blast alive.
It's amazing when we go to see these type of movies. I am hungry for knowledge of what it looked like where Bryan spent two years of his life. I want to know what the landscape is like, if the helicopter that he was airlifted in was like the one on the screen. What the smell was like.
Bryan lost it when his personal effects came from the Red Cross. His watch smelled like the bomb. He wanted the smell gone. I of course smelled it to know what it was like. He had black soot in his nose and ears for weeks. I couldn't smell the smell that was making him so sick. I smelled something but I think it was stronger to him because it flashed him back to when it happened. I washed the watch a lot but he could still smell it. I would wash it again and again with the strong hospital soap.
I have always wanted to know what the man who did this to my husband looks like. They caught him and then let him go. I want a picture. I have my own picture in my head I guess that will have to suffice. This morning Bryan woke up in pain. He was moving his legs like always. I asked him to stop moving and he said his legs hurt. I said they do everyday so get up and get moving. Sometimes it helps for him to move sometimes he can't get out of bed. He had somewhere to be so I pushed him. Some people may think that is wrong but this will be with him forever.
There was another scene in the movie where the character was bit by a dog while chasing a "bag guy." He was bleeding and said he was bit by a disease infected dog. I kinda laughed because this happened to Bryan as well at the beginning of July before he was blown up. He saw a dog trapped by his fur in concertina wire. Bryan tried to help him and bit through his knee pad and broke the skin. Bryan shot him because the dog wouldn't let him help him and he was mangy anyways. Bryan had to get rabies shots every week. They don't do them in the stomach anymore but in the hip. When he got blown up and was sitting in the bed at Walter Reed I told the nurses that he needed the rest of his rabies shots. They laughed at me and said that he had so many antibiotics going through him that he wouldn't need his rabies shot. I kept telling every nurse he had and they said they would check on it. About a week later this little old lady came in from infectious diseases and said she was there for his rabies shot. Guess he needed them after all.
In the end it was a good movie. It reminded me once again how lucky I am that Bryan made it out alive.
It's amazing when we go to see these type of movies. I am hungry for knowledge of what it looked like where Bryan spent two years of his life. I want to know what the landscape is like, if the helicopter that he was airlifted in was like the one on the screen. What the smell was like.
Bryan lost it when his personal effects came from the Red Cross. His watch smelled like the bomb. He wanted the smell gone. I of course smelled it to know what it was like. He had black soot in his nose and ears for weeks. I couldn't smell the smell that was making him so sick. I smelled something but I think it was stronger to him because it flashed him back to when it happened. I washed the watch a lot but he could still smell it. I would wash it again and again with the strong hospital soap.
I have always wanted to know what the man who did this to my husband looks like. They caught him and then let him go. I want a picture. I have my own picture in my head I guess that will have to suffice. This morning Bryan woke up in pain. He was moving his legs like always. I asked him to stop moving and he said his legs hurt. I said they do everyday so get up and get moving. Sometimes it helps for him to move sometimes he can't get out of bed. He had somewhere to be so I pushed him. Some people may think that is wrong but this will be with him forever.
There was another scene in the movie where the character was bit by a dog while chasing a "bag guy." He was bleeding and said he was bit by a disease infected dog. I kinda laughed because this happened to Bryan as well at the beginning of July before he was blown up. He saw a dog trapped by his fur in concertina wire. Bryan tried to help him and bit through his knee pad and broke the skin. Bryan shot him because the dog wouldn't let him help him and he was mangy anyways. Bryan had to get rabies shots every week. They don't do them in the stomach anymore but in the hip. When he got blown up and was sitting in the bed at Walter Reed I told the nurses that he needed the rest of his rabies shots. They laughed at me and said that he had so many antibiotics going through him that he wouldn't need his rabies shot. I kept telling every nurse he had and they said they would check on it. About a week later this little old lady came in from infectious diseases and said she was there for his rabies shot. Guess he needed them after all.
In the end it was a good movie. It reminded me once again how lucky I am that Bryan made it out alive.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas to all
Merry Christmas to everyone. I hope that everyone had a great Christmas and got to be with loved ones.
This is Bryan's favorite holiday of all time. He always has tricks up his sleve. Today was no different. He has been dying to give me my present so when I opened the box it was filled with two cans of peas, a can of stewed tomatoes, and a can of great northern beans. In between all that was a small box from Bluenile. He did a good job weighting down the box and throwing me off. He got me a beautiful ruby and diamond ring. He did good! I also got a 19 inch flat screen from mom for the kitchen and a mount for it from Beth. I can't wait to get it hooked up and it might encourage me to cook more often.
The card meant the most that came with my ring. It said this is our thrid Christmas together in a row. I hope that we never have to be apart again. Love, Bryan
It has been great so far.
This is Bryan's favorite holiday of all time. He always has tricks up his sleve. Today was no different. He has been dying to give me my present so when I opened the box it was filled with two cans of peas, a can of stewed tomatoes, and a can of great northern beans. In between all that was a small box from Bluenile. He did a good job weighting down the box and throwing me off. He got me a beautiful ruby and diamond ring. He did good! I also got a 19 inch flat screen from mom for the kitchen and a mount for it from Beth. I can't wait to get it hooked up and it might encourage me to cook more often.
The card meant the most that came with my ring. It said this is our thrid Christmas together in a row. I hope that we never have to be apart again. Love, Bryan
It has been great so far.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Veterans Group Life Insurance
I have been contemplating getting Bryan additional life insurance. I know he is working and has life insurance through his company but with possibly another surgery on the brink I figured I needed to think about how I would survive if God forbid something happened. I work for a non-profit and make poverty level salary.
I know that I can't get him private insurance through a normal company because of his medical history and depression. The life insurance through Veterans Group Life Insurance is affordable now but gets insane as he ages over 60.
If you are employed you have to pay for this life insurance however if you don't work from time of discharge until you die than it's free. Yet another way for the government to enable veterans not to work, punish the workers and aid those who can get more benefits from not working. However if you can't work than it's another story and should be at no cost. I just really feel that if a solider has PTSD from getting injured in combat and can't be picked up by private insurance that can be more affordable than they should pay for him to have it.
Today I filled out the paperwork and at the bottom they had a check list of conditions to mark if he has or doesn't have. Of course he had about half of the conditions. These are the ones that we had to mark yes to and explain.
Mental health conditions? Yes diagnosed Anxiety Disorder NOS
Lung or respiratory disorders? Yes difficulty breathing due to inhalation of a sulfur fire in country
Disorder of kidney, bladder, or urinary system? Yes Bladder Outlet Obstruction
Arthritis? Is this a joke yes he moans and groans every morning trying to get out of bed because of arthritis
Have you been absent from work because of
sickness or injury during the last six months? Yes missed work due to many medical appointments from injury
In the Past 5 years have you:
Been advised to have a surgical procedure? Another joke yes 14 surgeries with maybe another to go
Been a patient or been advised to enter a hospital or health care facility? Yes spent like 37 days in a hospital due to combat injuries in August and November 2006
Consulted, been attended, or examined by a
doctor or other practitioner exclusive of
annual or periodic physicals? Yes saw a doctor almost everyday through 20 months of rehabilitation
Do you have any known physical impairments,
deformities, or ill health not covered above? Yes plates and screws in both heels and ankles
Do you have a service-connected disability? Yes 100%
Looking at all this was overwhelming, will they even approve him? If so we are having the payment taken out of his VA compensation and we will continue to have full coverage until age 60 where we will re-evaluate our expenses and debts and hopefully reduce it because that is where it starts to get unaffordable.
Here is the site for those veterans that may need it:
Veterans Group Life Insurance
I know that I can't get him private insurance through a normal company because of his medical history and depression. The life insurance through Veterans Group Life Insurance is affordable now but gets insane as he ages over 60.
If you are employed you have to pay for this life insurance however if you don't work from time of discharge until you die than it's free. Yet another way for the government to enable veterans not to work, punish the workers and aid those who can get more benefits from not working. However if you can't work than it's another story and should be at no cost. I just really feel that if a solider has PTSD from getting injured in combat and can't be picked up by private insurance that can be more affordable than they should pay for him to have it.
Today I filled out the paperwork and at the bottom they had a check list of conditions to mark if he has or doesn't have. Of course he had about half of the conditions. These are the ones that we had to mark yes to and explain.
Mental health conditions? Yes diagnosed Anxiety Disorder NOS
Lung or respiratory disorders? Yes difficulty breathing due to inhalation of a sulfur fire in country
Disorder of kidney, bladder, or urinary system? Yes Bladder Outlet Obstruction
Arthritis? Is this a joke yes he moans and groans every morning trying to get out of bed because of arthritis
Have you been absent from work because of
sickness or injury during the last six months? Yes missed work due to many medical appointments from injury
In the Past 5 years have you:
Been advised to have a surgical procedure? Another joke yes 14 surgeries with maybe another to go
Been a patient or been advised to enter a hospital or health care facility? Yes spent like 37 days in a hospital due to combat injuries in August and November 2006
Consulted, been attended, or examined by a
doctor or other practitioner exclusive of
annual or periodic physicals? Yes saw a doctor almost everyday through 20 months of rehabilitation
Do you have any known physical impairments,
deformities, or ill health not covered above? Yes plates and screws in both heels and ankles
Do you have a service-connected disability? Yes 100%
Looking at all this was overwhelming, will they even approve him? If so we are having the payment taken out of his VA compensation and we will continue to have full coverage until age 60 where we will re-evaluate our expenses and debts and hopefully reduce it because that is where it starts to get unaffordable.
Here is the site for those veterans that may need it:
Veterans Group Life Insurance
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Lookout
So last night we watched a movie from Netflix called "Lookout" and it was very good. We watch tons of movies but I had no idea that this movie would kind of hit home. The main character came from an affluent family that was in a serious car accident. He essentially had a terrible TBI from the accident. He couldn't sequence very well, he would forget what he did in a day, and he could only complete simple tasks. Luckily Bryan isn't that bad and the movie made me once again count my blessings.
The main character lived with a blind man and they helped each other out. There was a scene where the blind man called and left a message for the character with the TBI to make dinner. He laid out on the message the exact steps to do. He couldn't find the can opener anywhere and he got mad and started throwing things. While Bryan didn't throw things he would get just as frustrated trying to remember where something was. There was also a scene where he was visiting family and his niece was born after the accident. He pointed to the baby and said "Allison right"? I can't tell you how many times Bryan has said that trying to confirm that he remembered the name of someone new.
I think it is interesting for any wife that has been through this to see the movie and remember to count your blessings.
The main character lived with a blind man and they helped each other out. There was a scene where the blind man called and left a message for the character with the TBI to make dinner. He laid out on the message the exact steps to do. He couldn't find the can opener anywhere and he got mad and started throwing things. While Bryan didn't throw things he would get just as frustrated trying to remember where something was. There was also a scene where he was visiting family and his niece was born after the accident. He pointed to the baby and said "Allison right"? I can't tell you how many times Bryan has said that trying to confirm that he remembered the name of someone new.
I think it is interesting for any wife that has been through this to see the movie and remember to count your blessings.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Ortho Appointment
Bryan said that he got an appointment with the Doc that also works once a month at the VA on Feb. 13th at 1:30. I am sad that it is so far away but also glad that he is getting it checked out by a non VA doctor. I hope that we can get some solutions for his knee and get it fixed sooner rather than later.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
First Rating Appts
Bryan had his first appointments for his stabilization rating with the VA. He started out talking to the compensation and pension liaisons. They stated that he got 100% just from his sleep apnea alone. They asked a few questions about how it was going with that.
He then went to get about 25 x-rays. The tech was shocked by how many they had ordered and asked why he needed so many. He explained he had gotten blown up and this was a normal thing for months, etc. etc. It makes me nervous with all these x-rays and CT scans so frequently because I read an article that it can cause cancer by repeated exposure to radiation. The tech said that he will be glowing after all of those x-rays...lovely.
Then it was on to get his scars measured and measured. The photographer put stickers on his scars and then pulled out a ruler to measure his right leg. Bryan started laughing and said I think you will need a yard stick. She got concerned and went looking for a bigger measuring device. She came out with a drafting table ruler and that did the trick.
He said that apparently they don't see his kind of injuries very often but that doesn't surprise me. Lots of people wanted to see his legs.
It is very hard for me not to be able with him through all this it's something I have to let go and something I have been a part of for so long. Bryan still has memory issues and I hope he is remembering to tell them everything that is going on with him. At any point they can decide his issues aren't that bad and pay us less or take a benefit away. I am praying that doesn't happen.
Hopefully they said by February he will have his rating and at that point he will get his CRSC benefit. I am really happy about that.
He then went to get about 25 x-rays. The tech was shocked by how many they had ordered and asked why he needed so many. He explained he had gotten blown up and this was a normal thing for months, etc. etc. It makes me nervous with all these x-rays and CT scans so frequently because I read an article that it can cause cancer by repeated exposure to radiation. The tech said that he will be glowing after all of those x-rays...lovely.
Then it was on to get his scars measured and measured. The photographer put stickers on his scars and then pulled out a ruler to measure his right leg. Bryan started laughing and said I think you will need a yard stick. She got concerned and went looking for a bigger measuring device. She came out with a drafting table ruler and that did the trick.
He said that apparently they don't see his kind of injuries very often but that doesn't surprise me. Lots of people wanted to see his legs.
It is very hard for me not to be able with him through all this it's something I have to let go and something I have been a part of for so long. Bryan still has memory issues and I hope he is remembering to tell them everything that is going on with him. At any point they can decide his issues aren't that bad and pay us less or take a benefit away. I am praying that doesn't happen.
Hopefully they said by February he will have his rating and at that point he will get his CRSC benefit. I am really happy about that.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Results of CT
We went to the Ortho Surgeon today to see what all is going on with Bryan's MCL. We spent an hour in the waiting room listening to a younger veteran tell B.S. war stories. His stories were so outlandish that it was getting on both our nerves. There was a old couple in front of me. I was sitting there wondering about all that he has been through. The wife put her hand on her husband's neck and started rubbing it, I was thinking that I hope that we can make it that long. His name was called and the old gentleman tried to stand up and he fell back into his chair. He finally made it up and used his walker to get to his appointment.
Apparently the H.O. (heterotropic ossification) that is growing in his knee grew through his MCL that was torn probably in the blast. Therefore Bryan's MCL is on the outside of his knee and H.O. instead of close to his knee cap. That is why his knee pops out of place and gives out. They said the ligament was very thin and fragile. The surgeon of course suggested a scope to see if it can be repaired but advised to go through a private doc. He works there and doesn 't even trust the docs at the VA.
He said that his old partner before he retired due to 4 heart stints still works locally and he works once a month at the VA. He said that more than likely he will be booked out way in advance so it is best to use other means to see him in his office before. He stated that if they remove the H.O. than they will have to cut through the ligament and since it's already damaged than it won't be any good anyways. If they can remove the bone than the ligament would be really stretched out. It seems there are no options but we aren't giving up.
We left the office feeling discouraged once again. We went to make an appointment with the surgeon that is there once a month and the earlier appointment was .............August 3rd, 2009 insane. We can't wait that long. When we left he called his regular office and he said he is not accepting new patients but he might be able to work him in around January. We might just go see someone locally so if he needs surgery we will be close. Thankfully he has Medicare and Tricare so I think it would cost nearly nothing to get a private doc to do the surgery. Uh I feel like this will be a lifelong thing for us.
We then went to the travel office to get our travel money and the line was long. The younger veteran was there telling crazy stories again. I was looking around and seeing old feeble veterans. It is so depressing to see these men and to know what is to come. A man with his aide dog was trying to get to the back of the line. The gentleman behind him let him skip line and we did as well. I think his dog felt his pain and was whining while he was waiting for his money. It was sad. I looked over and there was a man that had one of those voice boxes and was trying to talk. It really freaked me out. I pray for these men they have had a hard life.
Apparently the H.O. (heterotropic ossification) that is growing in his knee grew through his MCL that was torn probably in the blast. Therefore Bryan's MCL is on the outside of his knee and H.O. instead of close to his knee cap. That is why his knee pops out of place and gives out. They said the ligament was very thin and fragile. The surgeon of course suggested a scope to see if it can be repaired but advised to go through a private doc. He works there and doesn 't even trust the docs at the VA.
He said that his old partner before he retired due to 4 heart stints still works locally and he works once a month at the VA. He said that more than likely he will be booked out way in advance so it is best to use other means to see him in his office before. He stated that if they remove the H.O. than they will have to cut through the ligament and since it's already damaged than it won't be any good anyways. If they can remove the bone than the ligament would be really stretched out. It seems there are no options but we aren't giving up.
We left the office feeling discouraged once again. We went to make an appointment with the surgeon that is there once a month and the earlier appointment was .............August 3rd, 2009 insane. We can't wait that long. When we left he called his regular office and he said he is not accepting new patients but he might be able to work him in around January. We might just go see someone locally so if he needs surgery we will be close. Thankfully he has Medicare and Tricare so I think it would cost nearly nothing to get a private doc to do the surgery. Uh I feel like this will be a lifelong thing for us.
We then went to the travel office to get our travel money and the line was long. The younger veteran was there telling crazy stories again. I was looking around and seeing old feeble veterans. It is so depressing to see these men and to know what is to come. A man with his aide dog was trying to get to the back of the line. The gentleman behind him let him skip line and we did as well. I think his dog felt his pain and was whining while he was waiting for his money. It was sad. I looked over and there was a man that had one of those voice boxes and was trying to talk. It really freaked me out. I pray for these men they have had a hard life.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
The insanity has begun
So Bryan has an insane amount of appointments for his stabilization rating with the VA starting this Wednesday. For the last 8 months he has had a pre-stabilization rating of a 100% and that didn't include about 10 of his medical conditions. They will re-rate his current conditions and evaluate the others to rate them as well.
The breakdown is like this:
Dec 10 CT results for possible surgery on MCL and H.O. (Mountain Home VA)
De 11 Clinic appointment for med refills
Dec 12 AM Ratings (Mountain Home VA)
Dec 30 All day appointments (Mountain Home VA)
Jan 29 More rating appointments (Mountain Home VA)
Feb 4 Rating Appointments (Clinic)
Basically he is going to have to take the entire day off from work on the day he is going to the Mountain home VA. It's 1 hour and 40 minutes away. This is a huge pain and it doesn't even count the week long re-eval at Ft. Campbell sometime before Feb.
His job is being amazing and I can see even more what a blessing this job is. They are letting him take sick time, personal time, and a thing called Salary continuance which is like extra sick time and he still gets paid. I am so glad they are working with him on this...it's not like he can switch his appointments or cancel them. They were set by the government so they can't be changed and if he doesn't go than he doesn't get his benefits.
This is all very hard for me not to be a part of. Bryan still has memory problems at times and leaves out some of the details. I went through this process with him before and reminded him of the things he needed to tell the doctors and I can't be there. It is hard and it's something I have to let go. I have to work and don't have the time to take off. I am going to go with him Wednesday because I want to know what is going on with his knee. Say some prayers for us. I pray that the Army makes him permanently disabled so we don't have to go through all this again next year and for 3 years thereafter.
The breakdown is like this:
Dec 10 CT results for possible surgery on MCL and H.O. (Mountain Home VA)
De 11 Clinic appointment for med refills
Dec 12 AM Ratings (Mountain Home VA)
Dec 30 All day appointments (Mountain Home VA)
Jan 29 More rating appointments (Mountain Home VA)
Feb 4 Rating Appointments (Clinic)
Basically he is going to have to take the entire day off from work on the day he is going to the Mountain home VA. It's 1 hour and 40 minutes away. This is a huge pain and it doesn't even count the week long re-eval at Ft. Campbell sometime before Feb.
His job is being amazing and I can see even more what a blessing this job is. They are letting him take sick time, personal time, and a thing called Salary continuance which is like extra sick time and he still gets paid. I am so glad they are working with him on this...it's not like he can switch his appointments or cancel them. They were set by the government so they can't be changed and if he doesn't go than he doesn't get his benefits.
This is all very hard for me not to be a part of. Bryan still has memory problems at times and leaves out some of the details. I went through this process with him before and reminded him of the things he needed to tell the doctors and I can't be there. It is hard and it's something I have to let go. I have to work and don't have the time to take off. I am going to go with him Wednesday because I want to know what is going on with his knee. Say some prayers for us. I pray that the Army makes him permanently disabled so we don't have to go through all this again next year and for 3 years thereafter.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
The National Resource Directory
So they have finally done it. Got a one stop shop for wounded, ill, and injured service members. I begged people at Walter Reed for this so long. I tested this website out and I am impressed. Please share with all the wounded soldier you know.
National Resource Directory
National Resource Directory
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