March 31st, 2008
Bryans work called today and of course his morphine showed up on the drug screen. They need a current list of his medications from his doctor. Bryan hasn’t gotten morphine from a doctor with the VA here yet because it took almost two months to get it. So he needs his doctor from Walter Reed to write it. She is on leave until tomorrow. Another set back. As my mother calls it “it’s a nickel holding up a dollar.” I think that should be our theme phrase. Bryan forgot to tell me however that he got 100% disability from the VA today. I started jumping up and down when he told me. That is another weight lifted off my chest. Whew now I can breathe easier.
Last night I was reading a magazine that I had picked up at the store. It was about the women at Ft. Hood who have experienced being the widow of a soldier. They have the largest amount of deaths at one single base. Their words touched me. One woman said that her friends strayed after her husband died. It’s like her friends didn’t want to catch her bad luck. I understood what she meant. Some of my friends ran like wildfire. Especially two that were single at the time. I don’t talk to them anymore but I am still friends with them on myspace. They are both dating deployed soldiers and I know what that is like but they ran from me. They were not true friends and now they get to do on their own. I could have been someone to help them through and share my advice. They weren’t there for me and I cut those losses. I had two amazing friends who stuck by my side. One who was a complete stranger that sent me the kindest e-mail on myspace and our friendship has blossomed from there. I am going to “meet” her face to face for the first time the end of next month. The other I met while both our husbands were deployed. She is a rock and source of strength. She can cry with me and listen when I need to bitch. She is a genuine friend. She lives in Texas now and I didn’t get to see her much before she left but she has kept in touch with me the entire time. I get to see her again in May. It’s been almost a year since I’ve seen her. I am thrilled as she is one of those people that you can truly cherish.