Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Fighting

March 21, 2007
Today we had a busy day running around the hospital with appointments. After we were done with that we went to a veteran’s dinner and had a great time. He is from East Tennessee so it is nice to talk with someone from our area. We were talking with a man that we had met with his wife on the way to the White House and he was discussing with us about how he feels. He got big tears in his eyes and said I don’t know why I can’t sleep, I don’t know why I am always cranky, I don’t know why I don’t want to be here anymore, I don’t know why I don’t want to have sex with my wife, I don’t know why I am depressed. I got big tears in my eyes because we have felt exactly this same way before. We are still going through some of this stuff and we wonder if it is ever going to stop or go away.

Bryan and I haven’t been doing too well. We have been fighting a lot and we seem off track. At times I want to run. It’s all too hard. I didn’t expect Bryan to have all these memory problems, no energy, this overwhelming depression, no sexual desire, he is mad at me because he thinks I am parenting him. I am kinda glad to know that we are not alone but sad that there may be many other people that are suffering from the same things. We need to continue our counseling and maybe it will get better. Bryan has been taking anti-depressants and it seems to be helping but I am not sure that we have the correct dose yet.

After we got home we had a note on our couch stating that the people’s house that we live in sold. The new couple has no children and he is a LTC at WestPoint. He said that he would like us to be out by closing which is May 30th. Unless we could tell him our near term plans. He stated he would like to help one of America Heroes and we have been through a lot but he needs to know our plans. We would love to know our near term plans as well but this whole process leaves you not knowing when you are going to be discharged and then when you do find out you’re gone in 10 days. It’s very frustrating that all of this is happening again. What a jerk for not wanting to help us out, especially since he is a soldier himself. We had also found out today at the hospital that you can’t take terminal leave when you med board. You can when you ETS (get out when your contract is up) but not when you med board. Now Bryan has 81 days that you have to use or loose. They said he could sell his leave back to the Army but they only give you your base pay which is roughly half of our paycheck and they tax 25% of it.

I feel like its always one stressor after another here. It’s really frustrating.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Life is grand...at the moment

March 17, 2007
Today we went back to the mall to ask some questions about my ring and get it cleaned. We were looking in the “for sale” vault when I saw this dainty sapphire band with sapphires all the way around the entire thing. I asked to try it on because I liked it. Bryan looked at the price and couldn’t believe what a deal it was. He looked at our jeweler and said we’ll take it. I don’t know what I have done to be spoiled in this way. Bryan is so munificent and I don’t deserve it.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Vail Veterans

We got the opportunity to go to Vail, CO with several other wounded soldiers. The first couple of days were touch and go as Bryan was learning how to use the mono-ski. This ski is where you sit down and use "outriggers" or hand skis to help you balance. Bryan hates to not get the hang of things right away so he was getting a bit frustrated. A couple of our friends from Walter Reed were there too. I was having a blast getting to learn to ski a little better. I had fun hanging out with our friends and enjoying nice dinners. Once Bryan got the hang of skiing he was zipping off that mountain so fast I couldn't keep up. He didn't want to take a break or slow down at all. I was so impressed and excited. He was jumping things and going off high bluffs it was amazing.

We also got invited to go to a private members only cabin off a double black. The lady who started this program invited us and we were very excited to go. I basically had to scoot on my butt down the mountain because it was so steep. We got inside and they had house shoes waiting for us so we could take off our boots and relax. The cabin was amazing as well as the food. Apparently it's 100,00o a year to even be a member. We met a great adventurer named Steve Fosset there as well. He was so nice and we ended up sitting next to him on the plane ride back.

We went tubing down a huge mountain and I had so much fun and laughed till I cried. It was a freaking blast and very cold. I can't explain the joy and excitement in my husband. He loved to ski before and now he still can just in a different way. I hope we can continue to do this every year. He may have had things taken away but he was also given the opportunity to learn it in a different way. I am so thankful beyond words. Thanks Vail Veterans.



America Supports You: Wounded Veterans Ski Vail's Slopes
By Samantha L. Quigley
American Forces Press Service


VAIL, Colo., March 10, 2007 – Walter Reed Army Medical Center patients participating in the Vail Veterans Program's winter sports clinic took their newfound skiing skills to the next level here yesterday.
As Army Sgt. Dennis Cline finished his last run on the "bunny hill," he reflected on the progress he'd made from his first private lesson the day before.

"I thought I was going to be a little bit off-whack," Cline, who lost his left arm below the elbow Sept. 11, 2006, while serving in Afghanistan, said. "When I got here, my instructor taught me to ski without a pole and use your balance and use your body more to do stuff."

The self-proclaimed "outdoor freak" has gained a lot of confidence with the lessons. "We're going to try to get up on … top of the mountain," Cline said.

Dave Callahan, an adaptive ski instructor who has worked with the Vail Veterans Program since the beginning, said progress doesn't always come as quickly as the veterans would like. He was working with Army Staff Sgt. Bryan Gansner, who was a skier before a July 28 bomb blast in Iraq shattered both of Gansner's heels as well as damaging the knee cap and both bones in his lower right leg.

"I think that he wasn't sure how much learning would be involved in mono-skiing," Callahan said. "Because he was a skier before, he figured he'd just take off."

A lot of the movements are similar, but a lot of them are different enough that it's like starting over, Callahan added. "Once he starts getting his turns down, he'll start to make comparisons to stand-up skiing," he said.

Gansner said he's lucky to not have lost any limbs but that he still has a lot of pain. Having been a skier for most of his life, he said he's excited about the prospect of skiing again, despite the pain.

"That was one of my concerns, actually, when I was in the hospital was that I wouldn't be able to (ski) again," he said. "I was very excited to get out here and I was excited to mono-ski, too."

Though he can still stand and walk, Gansner chose to use a mono-ski to spare his joints some of the jarring experienced with regular skis. "It's going good," Gansner said. "I'm just not as good on it yet as I was on my skis."

Once Gansner had mastered turns and speed control on the mono-ski, Callahan planned to take the veteran further up the mountain where he could put his newly honed skills to use on more difficult terrain.

Cline said he was amazed at the outpouring of support from the community.

"It's amazing," he said. "Whether the people really support the reason or the cause (of the war), … 99 percent of the time they support the soldiers, (and) I'd rather them support us and not care about the reason."

The Vail community has embraced the veterans, providing free lodging, meals, equipments, lift tickets and lessons. Cheryl Jenson, director of the Vail Veterans Program, said that 90 percent of the airfare was donated as well.


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Related Sites:
Vail Veterans Program
America Supports You

Related Articles:
America Supports You: Veterans Spend Down Time Tubing with Spouses, Guests
Colorado Town Welcomes Wounded Troops
America Supports You: Wounded Veterans Take On Snowboarding in Vail

Adaptive ski instructor Dave Callahan and Army Staff Sgt. Bryan Gansner take the chair lift to the top of the beginner's hill in Vail, Colo., on March 9, 2007 in Vail, Colo. A bomb blast shattered both of Gansner's heels and damaged the knee cap and both bones in his lower right leg. Photo by Samantha L. Quigley


I don't know where to start talking about this trip but I know that it was life altering for Bryan and myself. We start out at the airport and we got there so super early that it wasn't even open. We met a couple on the bus ride there that lived at Ft. Meade and he lost his arm and had some other injuries. They had 3 children, one of which had severe medical problems, I can't imagine handling 3 kids and my injured husband. They were really nice and around our age. We wait for the airport to open so that we can get checked in. We were excited for the trip but had no idea what to expect. We had a layover in Texas and when we boarded that plane we met the nice gentleman who worked for Continental Airlines and donated the ticket for us to go. He was so nice and generous and then headed to Vail. We were greeted by several elementary students who had patriotic music playing and hand made cards for each soldier. We read them and met our little friends that worked so hard on these cards. Most of them thanked Bryan for his service and said they hoped he had fun on the slopes.It was such a nice gesture.

Our friends N and M were coming as well as D but their flights were later and some flew into Denver and had to take a bus into Vail. We get settled into our room and are excited for what the trip held. We got up early the next morning to have breakfast and get our gear ready. We headed to the slopes where they had a special section set up to get fitted and meet our instructors. Bryan's instructor was Dave and he seemed super nice. His wife was a partial parpahelgic and she skied amazingly well. Bryan had to start out on the "bunny slopes" and was tethered so he could keep his balance and stop quickly. He fell probably 30 or more times the first day and I knew Dave would be exhausted from helping him get back up. Bryan used what was called a mono ski. He sat in a bucket with his legs tied together at the front. He used "outriggers" or hand skis to help keep his balance and steer. I was so impressed with how he was doing. He was frustrated because he hadn't gotten the hang of it but I knew that by the next day he would get it. Bryan loved skiing and had skied a lot in Germany. He was just having to learn a new way to ski.

N did an amazing job skiing. He is a unilateral Above the Knee (Ak) amputee. He was Bryan's soldier and was injured the same month. He used his good leg to ski and used outriggers to balance. D is a bilateral below the knee (BK) amputee and he was learning how to snow board on his prosthetics. They were doing an amazing job and me and M were very proud wives.

I got some amazing pointers for skiing from a Olympic skier and his tips helped a lot. The night we enjoyed dinner at a local restaurant and had a great time, after we finally found the place. They had goody bags for us, stetson hats, and encouraged us to drink lots of water.

The next morning was back at the slopes and Bryan was improving really quickly. By the end of the day he was ready to head down a more advanced slope and I was right there with him. It was amazing. That night we had dinner at another restaurant and had a great time with our friends from Russia. We were exhausted from a day of skiing but the Russians wanted to party the night away. We called it a day and went to bed.

The next day Bryan was vastly improving and we headed to a higher slope. The lady who started this whole event was also named Cheryl and she invited us to a members only cabin off a black diamond. We were thankful to be invited to such an exclusive place. When we arrived we were instructed to take off our snow boots and grab some cozy slippers. My legs were exhausted and glad to get out of those boots. We enjoyed a nice lunch were we met some very prestigious people. We met Steve Fossett who is a well known adventurer. He became the first person to fly solo nonstop around the world in a balloon. He made his fortune in the financial services industry and was best known for many world records, including five nonstop circumnavigations of the Earth: as a long-distance solo balloonist, as a sailor, and as a solo flight fixed-wing aircraft pilot. After lunch we went on the balcony and got a group photo with those who were invited to attend the lunch. This is probably the most expensive meal I have had.

We hit the slopes with Dave and his wife and it was snowing so hard we were in a black out. We hit the local lodge to dry off and hang out until we get back on the slopes. While we were heading down the slopes Bryan starts going up on the side of the mountain to jump the bumps. We lost him for a little while and I was panicking. Dave asked me if Bryan was having fun because he couldn't tell. I looked and him and said if Bryan is doing crazy stuff than he is having fun. He laughed and said good.
That night it was dinner at the Vail Fire hall where Ryan from the tv show the bachlorette worked. They had a wonderful spaghetti and lasagna dinner. They were passing around large bottles of liquor and everyone was taking shots. Everyone was wearing the fire fighters hats and acting goofy. At the end of the night they drew names for soldiers to win ski equipment. D won a snowboard and N won skis (even though he only needed one). It was awesome that our friends won such amazing gifts.

The next day we hit the slopes and enjoyed skiing at a faster pace. M and I decided to let the guys take a run by themselves and we would go by ourselves. Bad idea. They guys ended up getting stuck. Bryan fell into a bank and couldn't get back up and N couldn't help him because if he fell he wouldn't be able to get back up. Luckily someone stopped to help them. M and I ended up on the wrong trail and ended up going down the moguls. I have never laughed that hard, I literally almost peed on myself. We had no idea how to do them correctly so we were riding directly over them. I am glad we made it off them and headed back down. That night we had an intimate dinner with Cheryl, who started it all, some of the soldiers, and Harvey the guy who told us about this trip. It was a nice low key evening and we met some people we hadn't gotten to know throughout the trip.

The last day for skiing and we were sad. We knew that night we would be tubing down the mountain and had the chance to do some kind of mountain bike skiing. We had a freaking blast tubing down the mountain. We had snow all in our eyes but we didn't care. They let us do the longest train which usually wasn't allowed but we had a blast. We got some amazing action shots. We had dinner on top of this mountain and it was great but we were exhausted.

We headed back home the next afternoon and let me tell you the last leg of our flight was an adventure to say the least. We left Texas and headed back towards DC. We are going up in the air when there is this loud hissing sound, so loud that we couldn't hear. Our seats on the way back were first class and we couldn't hear anything. We see the flight attendant looking at the door and trying to figure out why it was making that noise. She takes out the manual and looks through it. I am starting freak out because it's getting louder and we are getting higher. Obviously there was a leak in the door. Another flight attendant comes up and starts to look at it. She tells the other flight attendant that if she can't handle the door flying off then she needed to go to the back. The lady leaves, if she was scared than I should be too. The pilot comes out and looks at the door. He doesn't know what is wrong either. We start to descend but can't land because we had too much fuel and we would combust if we landed. He finally gets on the intercom and tells us that we are going to circle around a few hours to burn off fuel and get at a altitude so that we can maintain cabin pressure. Finally after several hours we get to land. So much for enjoying my first class seats. We landed back in Texas and it's late. These soldiers haven't had a real meal in a while and they are meds so they need to eat.

All the restaurants were closing in the airport and all the vending machines were locked. We begged Wendys to get us the last of the cheese burgers and fries as these guys needed to eat. The brought the carts off the plane and gave us "free snacks for the inconvenience". We were also given applications to get a 100 dollar gift certificate for next time we flew. The next flight didn't leave till very early the next morning. We finally got into DC around 5 and home by 6. Guess our trip couldn't be perfect but it was pretty darn close.

You can donate to this amazing program here:
http://www.vailveteransprogram.com/index.html

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

New Bling

sMarch 6, 2007
Today we went to the mall to pick up my new ring. I was so excited to see what he had picked out for me. He made me sit outside the jewelry store and when he came back out he would not let me open the bag. He drug me all around the mall making me look at stuff when I just wanted to get in the car and open the bag. When we finally got into the car he would not let me open it then. I had to wait until we got home. When we did get home I opened it and the ring was absolutely gorgeous. He never ceases to surprise or amaze me. I loved my other wedding set but the jeweler had messed it up so Bryan said I deserved a “proper ring”. He is so charming.

Saturday, March 3, 2007

Romantic

March 3, 2007

Today we slept in late and I awoke to flowers and pastries from my sweet husband. He did this at least once a month when we lived in Clarksville and I love it every time. It’s great to be surprised like that. He is always spoiling me. So I cleaned house today while he went to Bailey Banks and Biddle to trade in my ring because the diamonds are moving around. He finally came home and he rushed me outside. There he gave me a beautiful pair of blue topaz and diamond earrings. I was not expecting this because he spent so much on my new ring. He said it was part of my birthday/anniversary gift. He could not wait until May to give it to me. I loved it! Then after we started driving down the road he hands me a Victoria Secret bag with a beautiful set of white lingerie. Once again he is full of surprises! How did I get to so lucky?